Diss is hard

It shouldn’t be hard. It’s just four normal sized essays bundled together into one.

Something about being told I have to write ten thousand words just seems to cause my vocabulary and grasp of the English language to evade me. I keep trying to break it down into smaller chunks. “I only have to write 50 words, 200 times… or 100 words, 100 times…”

I’ve also begun to have recurring anxiety dreams about meeting my dissertation tutor, usually in Tesco (don’t ask me why Tesco, I’m sure there is a deep and meaningful reason) shortly before the deadline only to be told that nothing I have written is suitable and I have to start again from scratch.

“I don’t even know why you’re still standing here” (in the frozen food aisle) he says menacingly, “you should be writing right now.”

It’s not easy to get back to sleep after that. It’s not easy to do anything in fact. I know I can’t possibly work on it night and day, but no matter what I’m doing that little voice starts to creep in saying “Your dissertation is due in 23 days” and whatever I was doing becomes an immensely stressful situation. Even while I’m actually doing it it’s hard to concentrate on anything other than the ever-closer deadline.

…I’m gonna go and write my dissertation